How to Handle Trauma | The Two Sides of Emotions Releasing from the Body
The brain is like a frozen pond. A harmful or violent or neglectful incident flash freezes the event or circumstance into the way a person responds, most often unconsciously. The body gets caught looping in a place of flight, fight, or freeze. The nervous system will always go back on traumas until it unlearns old pathways. We know that trauma is when something bad happens and the body could not or would not handle it at the time. The hope and confidence rises through our work with neuroplasticity: the brain can be rewired. We can heal. That pond can thaw out.
We are all in the spring of our lives…
To be clear: this article isn’t about blame or victim mentality; this is purely about the body’s response as time and pain pass; furthermore, as trust and support are reintegrated, the body and consciousness can merge and meet. This is humanity meeting spirituality. The ego meeting the higher self. God and the devil putting down their boxing gloves and learning to hug. We are all learning embodiment and how to tap into the ABUNDANCE and JOY responses.
If we feel triggered and are unable to cope with the emotion frying our nervous system, we tend to disembody. I define this as not feeling. We zoom up and out and pull information down from the ethers. It is knowledgeable and informative, but devoid of emotional release and avoidance.
As children we go into the mind-sphere or imagination or fantasy when there was no support and neglect.
If we continue this as adults: Addiction and distraction are common side effects; reciting intellectual concepts without actually touching any felt sense of things is another issue. It’s nervous chatter and being high strung. It’s constricting and controlling the emotions.
The remedy is top down ascension (shakti energy) when we re-embody and reenter into communion with physicality and emotionality. This is rediscovering empowerment and will.
If we feel safe, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and pull up old woes and pains to purge, either individual or collective pain. This is the inner child or pain body and can be destructive or manipulative—it is contrasting with ‘out of body’ ways of working because it is intimately linked to emotionality and physicality, taking advantage or inserting oneself onto others.
As children we are unable to control the body and we nail bite, wet the bed, act out, scream at others.
If we continue this as adults: It’s being anal or always having the same type of reaction to bad news or even using self-harm. It’s constricting and controlling the body.
The remedy is the kundalini rising as the nervous system is learning to shiver, shake, chatter, and deactivate from the stress response. This is rediscovering empathy and instinct.
These are just hyperboles or storied ways of explaining these “attitudes”: God comes down into us from the ultramind of heaven, data, and connectivity; we are each god. Satan comes up from our chthonic core of being, suffering, and memory; we are each satan. We can be saints and sinners, we can be good or evil.
In looking at the Indigenous story of the two wolves vying for control: the wise storyteller says whichever wolf you feed will be in control. However, I see it not as starving the “bad” wolf and feeding the “good” wolf, but allowing them both to meet in the arena of the heart. There, a great fight can happen. It’s a spectacle. A great healing can also take place in the heart. Being with one’s own heart and meeting others hearts is the way to meet what was neglected and abused so long ago…
Both of these “attitudes” of ‘heaven and hell’ are mixed in our daily life. We can struggle with it or it can be room for tremendous growth and creativity. Others are imprisoned by the traumas continuing to play out. Meditation and going within is so helpful because it centers us and reminds us of our awareness and conscious aliveness.
In the middle of this up & down shuffle is the heart, the center of all physicality and truth: the zero point. Up and down, each of these knuckleheads move and bicker and clash and merge in the zero point, like two deities unable to fight the pull of a black hole. The event horizon is the no going back point: when we learn to relax our brain, gut, and heart (and the body surrounding it) then we are free of our past. It is a relief and bliss that is becoming more and more present.
Why are we manic-depressive, masculine-feminine, black-white, liberal-conservative, dark-light? We are the crossroads of choice: in our physical body we can come and go, embody or go out of body. All is okay:
So, what is best for you? What is most exciting for you? What is the most comfortable for your nervous system? What is the self defense mechanism presenting itself? What kind of creation is being made from pure love and connection? What kind of death and rebirth, destruction and emergence are occurring just because? Who do you want to be? What broken character was never true and was just a mask you wore for a reason no longer in memory?
This is the nature of homeostasis; as we move up-and-out or in-and-down, we are always moving information and energy and connecting to ourselves, others, the world or nothing at all. We can be distracted, amused, complacent, frustrated, anxious, intrigued, calm, or ecstatic. Unless we are in a loop: then it is default way of being with no choice. Rigid and controlled by the past trauma.
So, we are statues until we learn to dance in joy. Those mechanisms of flight, fight, or freeze manifest in the body and make us turn to stone when a certain event, situation, or emotion comes that does or doesn’t want to be felt. We can always surrender and release the stuck or frozen energy; we experience freedom from one way or another and everything in between. Attachment or identification with the pain is the reason for attachment disorder, PTSD, or any other ‘stuck’ bodily response.
When traumas are released from the memory of the cells, joy is what remains. These are some possible practices a.k.a. the solution:
· relaxing of preferences/identifications—using diagnoses like RAD or PTSD or bipolar disorder give the facts about your situation and are guidelines for recovery; beware of using these identifiers to place yourself in a category as they can be tricky to deidentify
· remembering you are whole and not broken
· using self-inquiry to question what you ‘know’ as true in mind and body
· practicing gratitude and compassion – become more connected to self-love paired with learning to love and trust others
· gauging triggered reactions as unhealthy fear/stress response; seeing calm responses as healthy joy/abundance response; letting either happen naturally and just being aware of what circumstances elicit each
· trying out dynamic meditation, bioenergetics, deep breathing techniques, EFT, or reiki (to only name a few) which reacquaint the body with safety, emotional release, and physical relaxation—doing these with others reacquaints you with community support—doing these alone reacquaints you with self-support
· taking time for self-care and ‘sick’ days, but also pushing yourself out of your comfort zone—this covers both the stuckness as well as the not feeling met.
Check out some of these options; many of these in different times of my life and in varying increments have radically changed my relationship to my body. As well as how I relate to others.
Life is a road trip. Traumas are just drinking too much when you are many miles from the next pit stop. Sometimes the drive can be tiring and make you cranky and sick. This is suffering.
Thankfully, the journey is abbreviated with rest stops so we can stretch our legs and realign to the body. We can laugh with our friends and check out the vending machines. And there are those moments in life of extreme happiness and memorable milestones; it’s when we reach the destination, we can finally take some pictures and enjoy those ‘uncomfortable times.’
We are all just learning how to drive these bodies and unlimit those factory settings we’ve been given. How about we embody and jail-brake these bad boys??